Over the past few months, I feel like I’ve lost my voice on this blog. I’ve read so many articles and blog posts that aim to teach you how to grow you blog, how to get people to want to read your blog, that I’ve lost myself.
It’s way too easy to look at other blogs and think why does this person get more views, more comments, get chosen for more opportunities? It puts you into the mindset that you have to change your own voice, to be able to make a name for yourself. So I did it. I changed up my posts. I followed the rules of a good blog. And where did that lead me? It made my blog seem like a chore. Like something I had to do, not something I enjoyed doing. I made lists of this and that, but these were never things I felt like I really wanted to write about, but things that I thought others want to read.
In all honesty, my blog did grow, I did get more readers, comments, and opportunities, but I lost myself along the way. Is it worth it to change yourself to please others? Nope, not really. That change sucked the fun out of blogging for me. I used to post almost everyday and I always had something to say, something to share, but lately I don’t feel like anything is blogworthy. I feel like recipes aren’t worth posting because I didn’t get a good enough picture of them and since the picture isn’t good, no one will want to try it or pin it or share it. The sad truth it some of my best recipes aren’t photogenic, but they are delicious, but they never get posted because they’re not pretty. There are lots of different topics that I want to write about, but I read somewhere that you shouldn’t deviate too much from the central topic of your blog because you alienate readers. Too bad that this caused me to alienate myself.
I also fell into the comparison trap when it came to my diet and fitness. I saw all these amazing women who were able to follow diet x or diet y, run 20 miles, weight train 6 days a week and have time to seemingly get everything in their lives done. And then I looked at myself…still overweight, not able to stick to a “diet”, without the time and energy to run and work out as often as I’d like, and always at a loss for time. I fell into the comparison trap on every level, not just a blog level. This also lead me to judge other people on their food choices. I caught myself judging people at what they ordered and what they ate, and it dawned on me that just because I’ve created a disordered view in my head of what I think people should eat, doesn’t mean that the world will fall in line and follow these rules. These same rules have lead to me eat crap at night, after everyone is sleeping, so they don’t see because I’m embarrassed. I saw myself going down a path that could end dangerously and I’ve decided to stop. I’ve decided that it’s okay for me to eat. I don’t have to order a salad. I can eat that burger and it won’t be the end of the world. If its 10pm and I’m hungry I should eat. There is no cutoff time for my hunger.
But I am ready to reclaim my blog, my voice and myself. I want to enjoy blogging and I want to write about what I want to write about, no matter if the topic doesn’t fit with the theme of my blog. If I want to cook something unhealthy and delicious I want to share it on my blog. I want everyone to see that I enjoy doing this and I want that to come across in my writing. So from now on, I am going to blog to make myself happy and hopefully that makes other people happy, too.
Have you ever fallen into the comparison trap? How’d you get out?
I have never once compared my blog to anyone else’s. I love my blog so much and keep it up because I love to write about health, celebrities and maybe make ONE reader laugh?? LOL! My blog is my baby, just as your blog might be your baby. You really cannot compare your blog to anyone else’s though because everyone is unique in their own way and readers/other bloggers are all attracted to different things! 🙂 That being said, I love your blog and I love that you’re reclaiming your voice – this blog post is so real and relatable, I have a feeling you’ll be getting a lot of comments 😉
GiGi Eats Celebrities recently posted..Chelsea Handler’s First Stand-Up Comedy Show
Thanks so much lady! Your blog is a riot, so you are making at least one person laugh! 🙂
I can understand how the feeling to compare your blog to others can be compelling. I’m so happy that you are feeling confident and ready to reclaim your voice! You are unique and your blog is special and wonderful.
Debbie @ Live from La Quinta recently posted..My #BestRun.
Thank you so much! I feel so much better now, and I can\’t wait to post about fun things! 🙂
Sylvia – I love this post and can totally and completely relate. I’ve been feeling similarly – caught between what I “should” be blogging about versus what I want to post about and I feel like it’s left me uninspired. And the comparison trap? Oy, that’s a constant struggle. I’m so glad that you are reclaiming your voice and finding your way back. I love your voice.
Christine @ Love, Life, Surf recently posted..Best Run
Thank you so much! Your words are too kind. 🙂 It is a struggle, but I feel like our blogs are a journal of our lives and if we aren\’t enjoying writing down our thoughts and experiences, then what\’s the point? I want to have a blog that I want to read, and if some other people want to read it too, that\’s great.
What a great post! You are super brave to write this. I think it so easy to fall into the comparison trap with other bloggers. We see and read their blogs all the time. But at the end of the day we have to be ourselves. It’s the only us we’ve got! Way to be true to yourself girly! <3
Erin @ Girl Gone Veggie recently posted..Veggie Reviewed 6: Giveaways Galore
Thanks! It\’s so easy to get caught in the comparison trap, but if we compare ourselves to others, then we will never truly appreciate ourselves. I\’m done comparing, it\’s time to be myself and be happy!
I have never been to your blog before but someone shared this on twitter. I’ve felt the same as you many times. In the end, it’s all about being oneself and hoping others accept and support you. Best of luck on the journey!
Kate recently posted..At the Playground with Grandma & Pop-Pop | moments
Thanks so much for stopping by and your kind words. I agree, I want to be myself and share my own voice on my blog. If no one else enjoys it, at least I have a journal to look back on. That is why I started this blog in the first place. 🙂
I was having these same thoughts recently and thinking back to when I first started my blog as a chronicle for ME, not others. Great post!
AmyC recently posted..#TrainingTruths: Flying Pig Week 4
Exactly! I started this blog to write down my thoughts and experiences, to have something to look back on, and somewhere along the way I lost that. It\’s time to get back to my roots and be true to myself.
LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS.
my post last week was different but similar in that Im just choosing to get back to my blog roots!
MIz recently posted..I got bored.
Thanks! 🙂 It\’s time to find our voices and blog about what we want to! Good luck!
So many kudos to you for being open enough to share this. Your voice is a wonderful one, and I look forward to hearing it on the blog for many more posts to come! 🙂
Shari recently posted..The Power of Storytelling.
Thanks so much Shari! I can\’t wait to get back to my roots and write about what I want to write about! 🙂
I’m glad you are going back to blogging about what makes you happy! I don’t know who created blogging “rules,” but I can tell you I don’t like them very much! 😉 I actually prefer blogs that talk about different things….I hate reading the same blog post day after day after day.
Do your thing girl!!! 🙂
Maureen recently posted..March Accomplishments/April Hopes
Thanks so much! There are so many books and blogs about how blogging is a business, but I came to realize that this will never be my job and once I got into the mindset that it was, I didn\’t want to blog. Rules are meant to be broken. 🙂
Just rock YOU!
Thanks! 🙂
Thank you for sharing so honestly! You’re right, it is easy to fall into the comparison trap… I’m so glad you’re taking a step back and starting to find your voice again, and what you want to write about. Good for you!
Laura @ Mommy Run Fast recently posted..5bythe5th Link up + Best Run
Thanks so much! The comparison trap stinks and I am over it. Time to find my own voice and appreciate myself! 🙂
I went through something like this a couple of years ago, and then I realized it all just wasn’t worth it. I started blogging for myself and now I love blogging more than ever before! It’s really easy to tell when a blogger just is writing about what he/she thinks they should be writing about, instead of writing something they are actually passionate about. Good for you for realizing it, and good luck finding your voice!
Caroline recently posted..Sprint Triathlon Training
I knew something wasn\’t write. As soon as blogging became a chore in my mind, my writing and posting suffered. I\’m glad I realized it and I am back to being myself.
Love this post. I can totally see how easy it can be to fall into the comparison trap. Not only in the blogging world but in all aspects of life. At the end of the day, the lesson is that we always have to remain true to ourselves and our roots 🙂
xo
Kierston recently posted..Charging Ahead!
Thanks lady! It is way to easy to compare, but I\’ve realized I\’m the only me I can be, so I need to be happy with who I am and my own abilities instead of focusing on others. 🙂
Just do what feels right to you. I would say you are on the right track with this post.
Thanks! I hope I am because I love blogging, but it really became a chore in my eyes. I\’m going back to my roots and posting about what\’s dear to me. +
I can completely understand this. I’ve felt like blogging is a chore, too, and that I should modify things so more people would read mine. But a blog is something personal. It shouldn’t need to be modified, nor should you have to modify yourself to attract more readers.
Very honest post!
Great job sharing such honest and truthful thoughts.
I love all the quotes, too!
E recently posted..getting back at it
Thanks! I agree, a blog is a reflection of one\’s self and once you change it, you lose your voice and it becomes a chore. I am happy being me, and if no one wants to read about what I want to write about, so be it. At least, I\’ll have something to look back on and remember all the fun times I had.
You’re one inspiring blogger I’ve ever met. I enjoyed reading such enormous piece of post and to keep continue my blogging life whatever inspiration I’ve got from here will be effective for me. Thanks a lot for being authentic.
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Thank you for this honest, inspiring post. I’m just starting out in the blogosphere, and I already find myself comparing my writing to other blogs and trying to figure out what makes them so successful. But, at the end of the day, the real reason I started the blog was to indulge my passion for writing and to record all of the funny and tender moments with my daughters so they can read about them some day. Congrats on reclaiming your voice and your blog!
Nicole @ Work in Sweats Mama recently posted..That Deserves a Star – Link Round-up
Thank you for your kind words! I\’ve learned that if you\’re not true to yourself, it\’s not worth it. Good luck with your blog! 🙂
I know I sometimes get these feelings too, which leads to me putting a lot of pressure on myself to be that perfect blogger/runner/’chef.’ I tried for a few months, blogging often, still on whatever topics I wanted, but found I was sacrificing more than I was gaining, and doing things only for the blog, and that’s not right. Although I love to write, and hope one day to use the blog as a stepping stone, I can’t devote enough time to it because I work full time and want to stay active. I need to keep things in perspective.
It’s your blog, you started it, you decide! 🙂
Danielle @ I Eat Therefore I Run recently posted..The Pros and Cons of #ThisBody
I\’m right there with you. Between work, school and being a mom, there\’s only so much time I can devote to blogging. How can I ever compete against those who blog full time? I\’d rather be out living life then slaving over a post that I don\’t want to write, but feel obligated to write.
This is such a great post! I think so many of us fall into the comparison trap from time to time, with blogging and with life in general – I know I do, a lot! There is always someone you could compare yourself to who seems to have it better off than you do. I think the important thing to realize is that comparing yourself to another prevents you from feeling good about your own accomplishments when you should feel good about them! Everyone has their own struggles and road to success which is important to keep in mind. Seeking growth is wonderful but I think it’s also good to remind ourselves to take time to celebrate our own mini successes, however small, along the way. Congrats to you for remaining true to yourself! 🙂
Kristi @ lifesprinkles recently posted..Dare I Duathalon?
I completely agree with your comment. Thanks for your kind words! 🙂
Always write your truth.
It may not be pretty, or Pin-worthy, or interesting/ inspiring etc COMPARED to other bloggers, but it’s your truth – and that is interesting and inspiring to you, and those who know and love you. And really, how awesome is that?
Good on you for reclaiming your voice.
Came by way of Christine’s blog!
Alison recently posted..On Writing
This is so true! Thank you!
This post was a breath of fresh air!! Thank you so much for writing this. I started my blog about a year ago and I can sense myself beginning to fall into the comparison trap at times … your post was just the reminder I needed to stay true to myself and what makes me happy to write about. You have a new blog follower here who can’t wait to read more of your honest, true-to-you posts! 🙂
Dallas recently posted..year of kindness challenge: week 15
Thank you for your comment! I\’m glad that my post was able to remind you to stay true to yourself because the comparison trap stinks!
Great post! I think many of us feel this way and work to find and keep our voice. I constantly struggle with “what is my message” and am working to just be myself. You are great and being yourself and talking (or writing) about your journey is worthwhile and amazing 🙂
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